My poems......

I dont need no crap from you guys about this. I am told i am good at writing, so check this thread for more updates with my most recents.

My girl...

I love the way you end my night, and start my day
You are perfect in every single way.
When the sunlight reflects off your perfect face,
You have no equal in any place.
Your bold, and brash, and oh so cute,
Smart, gorgeous, and perfect to boot.
You may be small, but your voice is loud,
Always heard within a crowd.

Your eyes are blue, sometimes green,
And every color inbetween.
Your smile is bright, it makes my day,
And nearly takes my breath away.
What do I think of you, few may ask?
You are amazing, better yet, you need no mask.
You may lol at that last rhyme,
But its worth it, your laugh is truly divine.
And so I send this note away,
Written by me and taking all day.
This last line may not rhyme, but it is true still.

I love you more and more, day by day,
Moment by moment, until I fade away.

It's good. I like how you use "lol" as a word XD

Yea... lol. I sent that to her as a txt, wrote it in about 10 minutes actually...

Storm wrote:

I dont need no crap from you guys about this. I am told i am good at writing, so check this thread for more updates with my most recents.

Well too bad, I'm giving you crap.

Good poem, Storm. You've definatly got talent, but I couldn't feel strong emotion from this one... There's definatly some true emotion in it, but yeah, it didn't feel incredibly strong. I think you could of used stronger phrases at times, nothing really "drew" me into the poem. But none the less, you still did great. I look forward to your future poems.

"Lol" in a poem is half win, half fail.

Behold... Another one about My Girl

To lay a kiss on your lips,
So gentle and delicate,
Is like picking the drops of dew
off the petals of a rose.

I take your hand and
look into your eyes,
And see a heart made of
Gold and a soul so pure.

You see, you are an angel, an angel to me.
I could not help but fall
Madly in love with you,
The one who stole my heart.

Im glad you did, because
I could never find one such as you.

Someone who makes
Each day the best,
Each laugh the longest,
Each tear the saddest...

And a life, my life, worthwhile.

there. Short and sweet. enough emotion CK? lol

I think it lacks a bit of structure like the second poem I posted (but not as bad as mine ), but otherwise, it's good. Not much else to say other than good job.

"My Baby Girl" - Storm



You hair is soft as silk,

Your skin smooth like butter.

Though you hate to drink milk,

I love you like no other.



Running my fingers through your hair,

I gaze at you knowing.

You beauty I love,

But your Heart is worth showing.



Laugh at this if you will, For that is my purpose in life.

To keep a smile on your face, Throughout the pain and strife.



I am here to make your dreams come true,

To wipe your worries away.

To keep you from feeling blue,

And to Love you more each day.



You ask why I chose you, Out of everyone else on this planet.

It's because I love you, not them, all I want... you have it.



Your fears cannot keep us apart, No matter how hard they try.

We've proven nothing can stop us, None has power over You and I.



I give you my words, and my love, and my Heart,

Hoping that in return, We never shall part.



I promise to stay with you, till the end of my days...

I love you Baby Girl, Forever and Always...

And another

"Trust Me My Love"



My beautiful Baby Girl.. High up in the Sky...

Why did the heavens bless one such as I?

I did nothing to deserve you... Nothing of merit....

Yet I won your Heart... I hope I can bear it.



The responsibility of another's love...Upon my shoulders rest your dreams.

Your face is filled with laughter... But not all is as it seems.



I see beneath the surface... Beauty is only skin deep.

And beneath your beauty, I could feel your soul weep.



I caught your tears as they fell, and bandaged your broken heart...

Making it stronger than ever... A refurbished work of art.



And here you are now... Full of both hope and fear...

To be together is our dream... Yet it reflects, shunned by your closed ear.



I have no regret in waiting for your love... For your love I know I have won.



It's not a fool's errand to want your love, though your Heart is in spasm...

Follow it, let your mind take a backseat, lest it lead you into a chasm.



I told you before... My love for you is real.