An Old Poem

Well, Twizdid wanted to see a poem, so here it is. It's a pretty old one, but the other two I still have are older.



He lived a life of suffering,
Shattered heart, broken dreams.

Never happy, and never smiled, shunning all existence.
Sliting, cutting, bleeding through all the years,
Just the word "love" made him break into tears.

He was hurt so much, his soul was dead,
His heart filled with darkness,
Depression within his head.

Nobody wanted to help, nor did anyone try.
He was completly alone, living life to its worst.
Swimming within the pool of darkness,
Wishing his life would end.
But fate continues to be cruel,
And for reasons, he must live.

Screaming inside, living alone,
Suffering more than god should let,
He was given one more shot at love,
And grasped that one last chance.

That single day was the worst mistake of his life.
That chance was nothing more than an omen of depression,
Another chance at love came with another broken heart.

She destroyed the meaning of love,
And he was completly alone again.
With no more hope and not even a heart, he became emotionless,
Unable to feel ever again.
He'll never recover, he'll never accept love, ever again.

He's sick of this life and wishes it will soon end.
Until then he shouts out inside, crying with woe,
Waiting for death to take its toll.

Bleeding and weeping for the rest of eternity.
He's grateful he's too numb to feel the pain of love, but still,
He continues living every day in sadness,
Cursed with depression 'till the day he dies,
He must live what few others must try.

Sulking every day, tearing away at his broken heart,
Trying to slice away the pain,
He stabs, cuts, and bleeds 'till forgotten.

The sadness within, rotting him away,
Turning all the light, into dark grey,
Naught could change the path of sorrow,
Stuck in the endless lament of tomorrow.

A shell of a man, nothing remains.
Naught but the neverending sorrow and pain.
He trudges on, through the darkest life.
Not a single tear, born of crying or knife.

Whether the end is near, or all too far.
He lives and dies, in a suffocating hell.
Everyday, his life ends once more.
All to repeat, forever more.

He could end it now, but what's the point?
Hell awaits for this poor boy.
Nothing can save this sad soul.
Nothing can release him from this dark hole.

He can act as happy as he so wish,
But naught can make this true in the slightest bit.
He drags on, as an emotionless man,
No longer suffering, but no longer feeling ever again

He has life, an empty one at that.
Perhaps one day he'll gain it all back.
But this will never change the fact,
That he lives a life of hell.



Too long and too many focuses, I know. I'm not a master at poetry though, lol. Any and all criticism is appreciated, simply because I might get back into poetry in the future. If I do, refining my technique is a must.

It's really good ;D.
Lots of emotion, though it reminds me of myself ._.'

Might post an old one, it screams "HolyShitIWantToDie." XD..

Twizdid wrote:

It's really good ;D.

Lots of emotion, though it reminds me of myself ._.'

Ah, thanks.

Twizdid wrote:

Might post an old one, it screams "HolyShitIWantToDie." XD..

Sort of like mine? >.>; Whether a poetry is about lament or love, or some other completely random topic, I'm always happy to read it. Poetry is win, after all. So if you don't mind posting it, I'd like to see it.

I'll try, but typing out poems on wii = fail.

Damn CK... it doesnt rhyme. lol. sorry, trying to add humor to this is a fail...

Its very very good CK... But I dont like reading this type of poetry.... not saying its not true or well written, i just think focusing on the dark side of life will only keep you in the past and not allow you to move forward. Frankly, I dont like writing these kinds of poems because I feel that its too... idk... its too dark. Everyone can write about how much their life sucks, everyone has those kinds of problems, if you dont beleive me, I wrote a 3 page poem on my mother before and what a bitch she was. I hated it... it was well written and everything, just like this, but the point of poetry is expressing your emotion for others to feel, which you did very well i might add.

I just dont want people feeling my darkest moments, ya know? Id rather stick to the finer points of life.

Storm wrote:

Damn CK... it doesnt rhyme. lol. sorry, trying to add humor to this is a fail...

Its very very good CK... But I dont like reading this type of poetry.... not saying its not true or well written, i just think focusing on the dark side of life will only keep you in the past and not allow you to move forward. Frankly, I dont like writing these kinds of poems because I feel that its too... idk... its too dark. Everyone can write about how much their life sucks, everyone has those kinds of problems, if you dont beleive me, I wrote a 3 page poem on my mother before and what a bitch she was. I hated it... it was well written and everything, just like this, but the point of poetry is expressing your emotion for others to feel, which you did very well i might add.

I just dont want people feeling my darkest moments, ya know? Id rather stick to the finer points of life.

I'm sure you're joking and know poetry has nothing to do with rhymes half the time, Storm. ... I hate it when people seriously believe poetry is all about rhymes, though. People need to be educated on how expressive, emotionful, and beautiful poetry can be, eh?

Ya, I know that all-too well. I used to dwell on the past and how terrible life could be. But as you can see, I'm not like that anymore, it's just old poetry. You could say I wrote poetry to express my depression and sick thoughts. Since I'm not like that anymore, I stopped writing poetry.

Anyways, thanks. I guess my real life friends are just douches who hate poetry; they never liked my poetry.

i was joking about the rhyming CK. lol

yea, it is a good poem though bro. I feel ya

Storm wrote:

i was joking about the rhyming CK. lol

That's what I was hoping, lol.